A full Laughter engulfed the air in my room as I was playing with my Beautiful niece, my little Sam on a hot sunny morning. She was in the verge of tears of laughter while I was tickling her tiny body with my fingers and using her mother’s hairbrush to tickle the palm of her feet. Little Sam roared out a mirth that was so vibrant and rich that uplifted even the mournful spirit in Hades realm in the underworld. A child’s supple voice echoed the entire room, a seraphim singing from heaven of fun and amusement, a youthful glow of hymn that brought music to my ears. The milieu of this delightful moment guzzled my earthly psyche for a few minutes. It was pure joy, a healthy gladness, happiness in aesthetic form, a typical rainy day that washed away all the sorrows and pains of the world. But just like everything else in this fancy paltry common duration called life, some good things have its own ending. A protocol to consider that in happiness there is sadness, that in every brand new day there is a storm and in every reality there is fantasy. I was in oblivion when I came to my senses, a total chaos of nothingness and the abyss of complete darkness in the surrounding. Blindness struck me and the only music I heard was the resonance of my Little Sam’s laughter that leisurely fading away.
The tingling jingle of my alarm socked at precisely eleven o’clock in the morning. This clinking sound of my clock woke me and separated me from the excerpted flashes of longings in my dramatic cerebral activities from my unconscious sleeping mind. The balmy temperature of the mid-day stirred my cognizant to sway my body to move and to stretch my limbs until all the vestige of the dream was stripped off my physicality. I stayed in my bed facing the ceiling for a couple of minutes before I rose up, unable to move, motionless as if I was trapped in the tomb beneath the desiccated grove but yet widely awake. Outside the diminutive refuge of my room I heard noises, voices that I don’t understand; distinctive humming of erratic pitches as of the singing of the early morning bird. People of ethnicity clamoring in their diverse languages, was it Japanese, or Chinese, or maybe my Indonesian neighbors residing in front of my room conferring about the latest recipe that they’re cooking as they often do. The sight of this event flashes in my head and brought a smirk in my face as I pushed the thought aside and gave way for myself to stand. The sentiment of being alone in the four corners of my room enjoying the moment of solitary solace reprieved me from the burden of every day battle in my contemporary life. So I stood up and I stood still to face the new challenges, I stood up to prove something to myself that I was prepared to face another day ahead as I crossed the room to mend my thirst.
Water, vivid and crystal clear as it was as I drunk it from a plastic flower painted glass in my own little kitchen. It was delicious, warmed and tasteless but soothing as it entered my mouth down to the delicate passage of my esophagus and descending to the vital organs of my body, waking the different particles in my veins, my heart that compose the core of my very anatomy. The humidity of the summer breeze was uncomfortable for me and my body, I hated the constant tacky sweat every time I wake up in the morning, I hated it when there’s no freshness of the first light coil brushed my skin each time I open my eyes. For that very moment as I was enjoying my glass of water, it reminded me how much I loathed summer, the season of the year when the sun shines on its finest, when the warmness of the horizon impedes the eagle to soar in the air to claim his kingship in the immensity of the sky kingdom. It was madness!
I wasted no time as I shut off the worries in my thought and headed to the shower room to take my bath and washed all the negative vibes in my head brought by the fiery atmosphere, to drain my solidity from the rough sensation of the weather. The pouring of the water from the dipper was heaven to my skin; a rainy season flooded my cognitive mind as I imagine myself floating in the Herodian mikvah at the Jewry in Israel or dipping in a calm water of the spring lake in renaissance time under the Tuscan sun in the beautiful Italy. The wetness dripping in my body washed all the elements of nuisance in my head, it cleansed my being from all the anxiety feeling in my mortality, an invocation of soulfulness to procure calmness and serenity to my persona. Through water comes the beauty of life, the washing of sin, the purification of the soul and the redemption of humanity or at least it was how I felt at that time. Oh how I missed the rainy days!
As I sprung out from my day dreaming in the tiny corners of my shower room, I was back in the reality of my dredging self. What was I searching for? What was I needed to scour for in my simple customary day? Or maybe I was too accustomed with the simplicity of my life style that the boredom was knocking in front of my doorstep. I could not let it happen, not yet, not ready yet for changes to kick in. I need the rain so badly, I need the rain to wash everything away from my mind, I need an over flowing rain to restore the chaos in my head brought by the blazing heat of summer. I felt Desperate!
It was Friday and we are allowed to dress down at work. So I chose a plain white shirt and a camouflage short for that day. A simple pair of outfit to observe my loner introverted personality. I was not the outrageous or fashion type of individual. I left that life a very long time ago, an existence of recklessness and impression, a craving for attention and self-absorbed narcissism. Though I have nothing against people who live and breathe fashion, it’s my choice on how I want to live my life. Seeing myself in front of a mirror reminded me the battle that I’d been through, I fought hard in a battlefield between myself and the different choices of living, all the cards had been laid in front of me and all I had to do was to pick one. Watching the peacefulness and the calmness of my reflection made me realize that victory can be claimed if you picked the right card in the solitaire of life.
I picked my card, I made my choice and maybe people considered it lifeless or lackluster but it was worth the fight. As I open the door of my room to step out for work, I learned that the oddly emotion I felt earlier was not dredging out of boredom but merely emotions that triggered by the scratchy ambiance in my room and a product of the audacity thinker that constantly working in the thickness of my cranium. But yet I felt contentment and peace.
As I went out to the reality of the world I was assured that I was happy, that I was calmed, and I was fuming with humility by the simplicity of my life. With these plainness gave me the opportunity to admire even the simplest things or enjoy living the everyday life without wanting for more. I was smiling as I closed the door and with all the thoughts I have, all the freedom to think of anything in this world that a mind can imagine is possible. But with limitation as a human I was glad that God created contentment and satisfaction of the soul or else I will be craving for more. Silly Me!
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